The Mailman and the Princess Part 2

I'm so delighted how many enjoyed the first part of my silly little fairy tale! Here is the rest of the story!

The Mailman

and the Princess

(And also a really cool Phoenix)

Part 2

By

Hannah Williams

           The further he went, the more nervous he became.  Until now he had not thought about the need for a weapon.

            At last he found the troll’s cave.  He sniffed and smelled a savory broth warming.  His stomach growled, and he wondered if the troll would share.  Then it occurred to him that the delicacy might be called, “Cup of Colletiatessa.”

            Entering, he saw the troll over a steaming bowl of stew.  In the corner of the cave was the princess.

            Bill squeaked.                                                                   

            The troll looked up.  “Oh deah me, deah me!” he exclaimed.  “Now I have two for suppah!”

            Bill thought fast.  “Hold yer horses.  Is your name Harry the Hog?”

            “Astonishing!  A dinner that knows my name!  Yes, that is my title!”

            Digging into his mailbag, Bill said, “Harry, I have a letter for you from…er…ah here it be!  To Harry the Hog, from Aunt Agatha.”

            Harry dropped his ladle.  “Deah Auntie!  Oh, let me see it sah!”

            He reached for it but Bill the Bold jerked it away.  “Hold yer horses, again.  You get the letter if you give me the princess and…”  He glanced around and saw a beautiful sword amongst the gold.  “And that there sword,” he demanded.

            The troll groaned.  “Oh deah.  I must have the lettah!  Very well, take yeh girl and sword and be off.”

            This was arranged, and Bill and Colletiatessa rushed out leaving Harry the Hog to exclaim in delight over the letter from his “deah auntie”.

            Colletiatessa thanked Bill stiffly.

            Night fell, and Bill slept on the left of the road and she slept on the right.

            Before daybreak she leapt up, determined to get an early start.  However, as soon as the sun rose, she saw Bill on the road…ahead of her!!!

            Bill turned and waved.  “Mornin’ Princess!”

            He waited until she had caught up with him, and then they both went on.

            Oh how Colletiatessa fumed!  But suddenly her pretty eyes saw a red streak cross the sky and enter the forest.  Her heart skipped.  It was a Phoenix!

            Now everybody knows if you catch a Phoenix it will grant one wish.

            And I will wish for it to fly me to the tower where I’m sure they’re keeping mother, she thought.  I’ll get there far ahead of Bill.  She turned and entered the forest.

            Bill happened to look her way as she slipped into the trees.  “Now that be curious,” he remarked.  “She must know a shortcut, and anyway, a princess shouldn’t travel alone.”  So he followed her.

            After some time of struggling through vine maple and rhododendron, he saw the phoenix preening itself on a rock and guessed that that was what she was after.  He knew if she wished a ride, he’d never get to the queen first.  That’ll never do, he thought.

            He pivoted to the right and started crawling around and behind the phoenix.

            Now Bill, in his career as a mailman, had learned to move noiselessly, because he sometimes had to sneak up to a mailcrate without alerting resident killer dogs. So he was able to creep right up behind the Phoenix.  It had already spotted the princess and was preparing to vanish before her very eyes. But just then, Bill leapt up and grasped its talon.  It screeched and rose into the air, but Bill held on.  It came back down, looking sullen.

            “Well master, you have snared me.  What is you wish?” it hissed hotly.

            Then up came Colletiatessa, who was shaking with rage.  “How could you???  That was my wish!” she cried.

            Bill nodded.  “Yeah, but I caught it.”

            She buried her face in her slender hands.  “Now you’ll get ahead of me,” she groaned.

            “Nope.  This here Phoenix can be a ride to the both of us.”

            The Phoenix had been sulking during this talk and his feathers looked like dying embers.  However when he heard this, both his flame and temper flared.  “See here!  I can only grant one wish.”

            “Yep.  My wish is for you to carry the both of us.”  Colletiatessa frowned, but she did not argue.  Bill went to mount the creature, but then he noticed that the bird was still aflame.  “Hmmm.  Could you turn down your heat a pint, sir….Er…what’s your handle?”

            “My name is Skervarcalcosious, and no, I will not turn down.  You have already spent your wish.”

            “So I have.”  Bill looked anxiously at the kindling feathers, but went to mount anyway.

            But then Skervarcalcosious saw the mailbag.  “You are a mailman?” he asked in surprise.

            “Indeed.”

            The Phoenix’s eyes brightened.  “Then perhaps you know my brother, Darlemvelamcalcosious?  He lives east of here.”

            “You mean the phoenix who wants to be a scholar?” Bill said without even scratching his head.

            “The very one!” he cried, delighted.  “That fool brother of mine.  We tried to convince him being a scholar was hopeless.  How is he?”

            “Fine, though he ain’t any closer to being a scholar.”

            The princess had been trying to pretend she didn’t care about the conversation, but her curiosity got the better of her.  “Why can’t he be a scholar?”

            “Why?  Because paper burns up if he touches it!”

            “And the glasses melt on his beak,” Bill finished.

            They laughed together.

            “You have given me much pleasure,” the phoenix said. “For that I shall make your ride very comfortable.  Mount!”

            They did so, and the flaming bird soared to the clouds.  “Where do I fly to?” he queried.

            “To Ucthalionessmar Tower.  I’m sure that’s where they holding Mother,” replied Colletiatessa.

            They flew over mountains and valleys till they saw a great tower in the distance.  “I will only drop you off,” the Phoenix said.

            Bill nodded.  “Take us to the door, and we shall risk the rest.”

            Once alighted they leapt off and ran to the tower door.  Two guards were posted there, but they were sleeping. 
            Colletiatessa took the keys from one’s limp hand and unlocked the door.  Her fingers fumbled as she stuck the key in her belt and rushed through the door, acting altogether hasty.

            Bill understood.  He stuck his foot in the door as she tried to shut it.

            She glared.

            Reopening the door, he said, “I suppose that was a mistake, and you really weren’t trying to get rid of me.”

            Bounding away, she raced up the winding stair.

            Bill followed immediately.  “I have to get to the Queen first, and anyway she shouldn’t be the first one to meet the guards.”  He picked up the pace and overtook her.  With a sudden spark of competition, he passed by grinning impishly. Suddenly he tripped and fell flat.  She had tripped him with her bow!  Trotting over him, she sped on with a toss of her head.

            That did it!  He was going to win if it was the last thing he did!  He was up, teeth clenched, and took the stairs two at a time.  She was right in front of him, brown braid flying.  Seized by impulse, he grabbed her braid and pulled her behind him, a bit harder then he intended.

            Colletiatessa cried in fear, and Bill spun around to see her teetering on the edge of a step, arms flaying.

            With dismay, he reached and caught her hand.

            As soon as he did so, her expression changed from fear to malicious delight.  She yanked her arm back, and Bill went tumbling down the stairs.

            He landed at the bottom with a thump.  For five seconds he lay flat on his back watching all his letters come fluttering down.

            “She asked for it!” he shouted   He didn’t even think about saving the queen; his goal was to defeat Cunning Colletiatessa.

            Bill the Blur zoomed up the stairs four steps at a leap.

            There she was!  She was about to reach the second door.

            He rushed past, picking the keys out of her pocket as he went. He burst through the door, spun around, saw the shocked look on her, and then with a loud, “HAWH!!!” he slammed it shut, right in her face!

            For a long moment, Colletiatessa stared at the locked door.  Her lower rose-red lip trembled and her violet eyes sparkled, she did not know if she was going to cry or rant and rave at her failure.

            In the end she did neither.

            She went out the nearest window and rapidly began climbing the vines on the outside of the tower.

           

            Bill’s adrenaline rush had not worn down as he charged up the stairs.

            It vaguely occurred to him how odd it was that they had met with no resistance, but he didn’t think about that.

            He burst through the door roaring, “I have saved you, your Majesty!” just as Colletiatessa vaulted through the window crying, “Mama, Mama!”

            They stared at each other blankly, then more blankly still at the room.

            Save for them…it was empty.

            The door Bill had just come from burst open, and in poured enemy soldiers.  “Run for it!” Bill yelled to Colletiatessa as he was nabbed.

            Instead she bounded forward, hands on hips.  “Where did you put my mama?” she demanded.

            “Obviously not here,” was the captain’s snide remark as he signaled the guards to grab her.

            “Then this is a trap?” Bill guessed. 

            The Captain bounced on his toes with the triumph of a victorious rooster.  “What a day!  I have at least doubled the ransom with capturing the princess and you…you…”

            “Mailman.”

            “Mailman?  Well, I guess that’s worth something.  Take them down to the cells, and make sure the darling lovebirds aren’t near each other.”

            “Lovebirds?!” Colletiatessa yelped.  “I’m not his lovebird!”
            “And I am most certainly not her darling!” Bill fumed.

            “This is amazing,” the captain chuckled. “You have inspired me.  In honor of your charming friendship, you get to have prison cells right next to each other.”

            They both groaned.

            For an hour there was silence in the black dungeon.  Then Bill heard one, loud, tearful sniff.  He felt terrible that he had made the princess cry.

            “Princess,” he moaned.  “Is there any man you wish to marry?”

            Another sniff.  “Yes.  I’d marry a man who is kind, thoughtful, courageous, handsome, and who’d love me so much he wouldn’t even be on this stupid quest, but would be helping me find Mama first so I wouldn’t have to marry against my will.”

            “Oh.”  Bill felt even worse.

            Still another dismal, dreary hour dragged by.  Then Bill remembered.  “Princess!  Once when delivering mail, I got locked in the closet of a senile hairstylist!  I used a hairpin to spring the lock!  Do you have a hair pin?”

            For an answer, her gracile hand reached through the bars with the hairpin in her palm.

            Bill worked for ten minutes before there was a “click” and the door swung open.  Rapidly, he unlocked her cell, and they both rushed up the stairs and out the door to the glorious outdoors!

            But before they had gone far, a shout sounded.  “Hoi!!!  They’re escaping!”

            They spun around to see soldiers flooding out of the tower.  At that moment, light and heat flared behind them.

            “Don’t look now,” Bill gasped.  “But I think they have us cut off by fire.”

            “Well, it is fire,” a familiar voice said.

            “Skervarcalcosious!” they cried.

            “Mount, friends!  The enemy draws near!”

            Up they swept before the soldier’s astonished eyes.

            “Where to, Masters?”
            “To Colletiatessa’s mother,” Bill answered, as they should have said in the beginning.

            So after hours of flight, they passed over a dark, impenetrable forest till they came to a glade in which stood a cabin.

            “It’s unguarded.  No one was supposed to come by air,” Skervarcalcosious said.

            Jumping off, they dashed for the door.  Through the door’s window they could see the queen spinning at a loom, mournful and lonely.  The princess looked at Bill, challenging and defiant.

            Then Bill smiled and stepped back.  “No girl should have to marry against her will.”

            Her starry eyes widened as she gazed at him with wondrous delight, her crimson lips parting.  Then she gently smiled, opened the door and said, “Mamma, I’ve come.  And I want you to meet the man that I love--Bill the mailman.”

            I clapped my hands as he finished telling this story.  “Oh, weren’t you surprised!”

            “I was right flabbergasted.”

            “How’d you return?”

            “Well, we left the cottage and lo! there were two phoenixes!  The hopeless scholar, Darlanvelamcosious had come.  So we all flew home.”

            “And you married the Princess and are now Prince.”

            “Yep.”

            I wrote a note on my pad.  “Anything else?”

            “Yep.  We’ll live happily ever after.”

            And so they did.

The End